Let Down Your Guard
by SarahSue22
Summary: Ziva is having to cope with feelings she didn't know she had, but her dreams won't let her forget.
1. Chapter 1

_They were lying close together. She could smell the cologne he always wore, but this time the smell was different. She wasn't only smelling a hint of it from across the bull pen. It was right there holding her, loving her. She smiled into his chest and then lifted her head to meet his warm gaze. He returned her smile and whispered "I love you."_

Ziva blinked awake. The arms she had felt were gone, and the dream still lingered in her mind. Horror washed over her. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and sat up in bed. She exhaled. It was clear these thoughts were not going away. They had started a week or two ago when she suddenly found herself staring at him constantly from across the bullpen, admiring his features, his flaws. She tried to stop herself immediately. It wasn't safe, to have these feelings. They made her vulnerable. She couldn't allow herself to put her hopes in another human being; she had done that with her father and look how that turned out. It wasn't that she didn't trust Tony, she trusted him with her life. It was herself she couldn't dare trust.

So she had tried, to stop, but it was clear that this was not something controllable, not something that could be hidden by her tough exterior. She would have to get an answer, somehow, someway. She covered her face with her hands and let out an exasperated sigh. Just then, she heard a soft knock. Her eyes flew to the clock. It was 2 a.m.. Who would be here at this hour? She grabbed her gun off of her bedside table and went towards the door. She would have to cope with these feelings later.

She looked through the peephole and her breath caught in her throat. There he was, as if her dream had summoned him. He looked stolid, like he was holding himself together, but could crack at any moment. "Tony?" she said softly. "Hey Ziv." He said giving her that famous Dinozzo half smile, but she could tell it took a lot out of him. "Come in, Tony." She said motioning for him to enter her small apartment. Before she could say anything else, he interrupted her and said "It's my dad. He's in the hospital, and they say he only had a couple of days to live." She was shocked. Even with his silly exterior that could be serious when he needed to, she had never seen him like this. He was here for comfort, from her. He was letting down her guard and showing her a part of him others might never see.

"Tony..." it was all she managed to get out. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't here to talk about it, and that was fine with her. "How about a movie?" She suggested. He smiled; she knew the way to his heart. "Pirates of the Caribbean…" he confirmed. He popped the disk in the player as she made popcorn. When she came into the living room he was already on the couch. He stretched out his arms towards her. Her heart stopped. She couldn't believe this was happening. It was something from her dreams. She curled in his chest, and was prepared to listen to two hours of Tony's movie expertise. She didn't know where this was leading, but if he could let his guard down, she thought that eventually, so could she.

_More to come :)_


	2. Chapter 2

The phone rang and Ziva jolted awake. At first she wondered why she was on the couch until she noticed Tony's arms around her and remembered. She hated to end this moment but her phone was in her bedroom so she got up and answered it.

"Hello?" she answered. "Ziva we have a dead marine in a parking garage in Virginia. I'll have McGee send you the coordinates on his thingamabob, and for heaven's sake bring Dinozzo with you! He won't answer his phone!" Gibbs barked. "Sure thing Gibbs!" She managed to answer before he hung up. He was known for not being a Monday kind of guy.

Ziva? Tony said as he walked sleepily in to the room. "Dead marine in Virginia," she answered. "I am going to shower. Be ready to leave in an hour or so." Sounds like just enough time for a coffee run!" he replied. "Want any?" "Yes please!" she responded. As Tony left the apartment and Ziva climbed in the shower she let the warm water calm her as she thought about last night.

She went over the usual routine in her head of why she shouldn't be head over heels in love with Anthony Dinozzo. They were coworkers. Rule number twelve. He had a history of being a womanizer. It might hurt the team… but this time she couldn't get herself to believe any of it. The thoughts were drowned out by the smell of his cologne, the vision of that smile, and of course the way he had held her last night. So what if she loved him? But she knew that answer too. It would kill her. She let out another exasperated sigh and decided that today was going to be rough.

She stepped out of the shower and got dressed. She blow-dried her hair and by the time she finished getting ready she swore she could smell bacon. Her heart literally ached. How was she not supposed to be madly in love with the man that shows up at her house at two a.m., stays all night and then makes her breakfast?

She walked in to the kitchen. "Breakfast sweet cheeks?" he asked cheerfully; killing her with that half smile that seemed to come a lot easier than it did last night. "Tony," she said, "This is great thanks… are you okay? You know about…" "I'm not sure." He interrupted, "but at least I will have work to keep me busy." "Tony" she began again, but another phone call from Gibbs sent them running out the door. He was one man you didn't want pissed off.

….

They arrived at the parking garage just in time. Tony grabbed his camera, Ziva her witness statement book and the meticulous work of crime investigation had begun.

Ziva tried to follow Tony's policy of keeping her mind on her work, but she kept catching herself looking in his direction. By midweek she thought it couldn't get any harder to not have these dangerous feelings. She couldn't stand around day-dreaming about having a house and kids with her partner, while their lives were on the line. She needed to focus.

Luckily though the case got more twisted allowing that to take up the forefront of her thoughts. She thought she had finally found relief from herself when…

Undercover assignment.

After being briefed of the exact details of their upcoming assignment, Tony and Ziva shared an elevator ride down to the parking lot. She noticed Tony taking some Advil. "Headache?" she asked. "Yeah and a bad one" he groaned. "I've had a quite a few of those myself this week." She replied. "Yeah well mine aren't exactly cause by the case he said looking into her eyes. Hey Ziv, how about I come by your place again tonight and we watch another movie?" "Sure!" she said a little too cheerfully for her liking, but she didn't care. Tony was coming over, and for one night she could let herself think about him.

_Hope you like it! I plan to add more! The next chapter should be all about them being under cover!_


	3. Chapter 3

Ziva packed her suitcase and prepared to become "Mrs. Johanson" for the week. Together with Tony (Mr. Johanson) she would be part of an all American couple with an unhealthy interest in arms dealing.

She walked into the bull pen earlier than usual and began to rifle through her undercover personal belongings. She had her fake I.D., keys to a U-haul van, and an iPhone 5. "There you are darling!" smirked Tony, "Just in time too! I picked up our rings." Tony removed the two rings from the bag. They were the ones they had used in their first undercover assignment. Ziva longed for the time when sharing a pair of rings with Tony didn't cause such complicated emotions. "May I? "He asked taking her hand. "Sure" she nodded as he slowly placed the ring on her finger. Any control she thought she had was gone.

"Are you two done playing house!?" barked Gibbs. "I thought playing house was our assignment boss!" Smirked Dinozzo. A comment he soon regretted after getting a famous slap to the back of the head.

…..

They arrived in their agency issued U-haul in front of a quaint two story house in the Virginia suburbs. Half of the van was equipped with McGee's high Tec stuff, so it would be parked outside for a while.

"Here we are sweetie," said Tony loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, "home sweet home!" You wait by the van I'll go unlock the house. Out of the corner of her eye Ziva saw a neighbor that had been gardening rush into her home. _No doubt to warn your arms dealing husband about the suspicious new neighbors that are moving in. _Ziva thought. "Good thing I had the furniture installed ahead of time!" said Tony again really loudly, "less work!" "I agree honey," said Ziva cheerfully, "it looks like we have new neighbors to greet! She said pointing out the lady returning from her home with her husband who looked anything but hospitable. Tony automatically took a protective stance that made Ziva's heart flutter.

"We weren't aware we were getting new neighbors!" said the man who was trying his best to sound cheerful. "Yep," replied Dinozzo, "deal closed last week." "And you would be?"Asked the man. "Mr. and Mrs. Johanson" replied Tony. "Oh well" said the man giving the agents a hard look I guess we will be seeing you around then." See ya! Replied Tony, again cheerfully and a little too loud.

Both the agents sighed in relief as they closed the door to the house after loading in the last box... It was nicely furnished, but all Ziva was concerned about was the bed. "Whoa sweet cheeks!" Tony said as he noticed her going that direction, "in a minute but right now we have to call and update Gibbs." Ziva let Tony take care of that as she unpacked all of their clothes. Ziva swore everything he owned smelled good.

"Ok," said Tony "time for bed!" By the time Ziva was changed and ready she thought Tony would be fast asleep, but it turned out to bed the opposite. He was sitting wide awake with a rather concerning look on his face. "Your dad?" she asked gently. If there was one thin Ziva knew anything about, it was father problems. "Yeah," he replied "I… I've just told myself for so long that I wanted nothing to do with him, but now that he is sick like this, I… I don't know anymore Ziva. At least I know one thing," He said smiling with tears in his eyes, "I've got one beautiful kickass partner that'll always have my back" He reached out his arms to her and she didn't hesitate to reach them. Tony was the best man I girl could ask for, and Ziva wasn't about to wait around for another girl to take him from her, her heart had give her an answer. Now all she needed was his.

A phone ringing woke them up around three a.m. "answer it!" mumbled Tony covering his face with his pillow. After fumbling around to find it Ziva picked it up and only after answering it realized it was Tony's. "Hello?' answered Ziva. "Hello this is Sharon from DC metro hospital calling for one Anthony Dinozzo Junior are you his wife?" said the woman on the line." Ziva handed the phone to Tony who had a very short conversation before hanging up. When he was done Ziva looked at him questioningly, fearing the worst. "It was the hospital about my dad, Said Tony weakly, "he died a few hours ago."

_Hope you liked it! __J__ I _plan_ to add more!_


	4. Chapter 4

"Tony…" whispered Ziva. She looked him in the eyes; he had that look that holding it all together with a thin string look. It broke her heart. "Do…do you want to be alone?" she asked holding her breath. "No." he answered really quickly, "I need to go to the hospital. Will you come with me Ziv… please?" He begged as if she could ever say no. "Of course Tony" she answered. "I'll call Gibbs and tell him. Do you want him to come too?" "No," he said, "I need you."

Ziva's breath caught in her throat. Some part of her had always wanted to hear that, but why at such a horrible time? She grabbed the keys to her mini cooper that was parked down the block in case they had needed to sneak away and motioned for Tony to follow her. They walked in silence, and that was fine, there was nothing she could say to make it better. She had gone to the ends of the world and back to avenge her father, but there was no enemy for Tony to face, just his raw emotions, and all she could do was be there for him to reach out to when he was ready.

They arrived at the hospital at 4 a.m... The receptionist directed them to the room where Dinozzo Sr.'s body was held, and to Ziva's surprise inside of it stood Tony's entire family. Many were saying their goodbyes and while bustling to meet them in the hallway a rather frail old woman shouts "ANTHONY JR.!" _His grandmother_ Ziva guesses he had once described her as a small woman with a spirit the size of Jaws. "Why I would say it was great to see you but considering the circumstance, I guess it isn't" she said gravely. "Hi gramma." said Tony sounding a little bit more like himself. "And who is this beautiful woman?" She asked. "This is Ziva, she is my… partner" he said, hesitating just enough to send Ziva's heart all over the place.

The rest of the day was spent with tedious introductions and Tony barley got a moment to say goodbye. Ziva felt that her presence had been more of a burden than a help, but as soon as they got in the car Tony let out a sigh of relief and told her the opposite. "Ziva, I… I wouldn't have been able to handle this… I really appreciate… look what I'm trying to say is." "You're welcome." Ziva smiled. He tried to smile back but couldn't find it in him and he just closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. "Ziva," he said, "as much as this day has sucked, it has confirmed two things I needed to know." "And those would be?" Ziva asked. "How I felt about my father… and how I feel about you. He answered taking her hand.

Ziva was floored. There he was looking into her eyes like he did in her dreams. "I love you Ziva David." He said. Ziva couldn't find words fast enough. How could she tell him? Tell him that for weeks he was all she could think about, that she wanted to spend the rest of her years in his arms? She couldn't figure out what to say, so she settled on nothing. She just put her arm on the back of his neck and pulled him closer until his lips met hers. It was a simple kiss, but after it was done she had the courage to say what she really felt. "I love you too."

He smiled. A genuine not forced smile. "Let's go home sweet cheeks."

_Hoped you liked it! Should I add more?_


	5. Chapter 5

_"Ziva," he whispered, "you look so beautiful when you are sleeping." _

Ziva blinked awake… for once she wasn't in her dream. This was real life, wrapped in his arms, and never wanting to leave. She could almost laugh at herself, Tony Dinozzo. Eight years ago she would have never pictured this moment. The man she had thought to be an arrogant woman chaser, turned out to be the most amazing man she had ever met. She smiled into his chest, and pulled her closer to him, if that were possible.

"Gibb's called," said Tony, "we have to head to the neighborhoods annual 4th of July BBQ." "Ummmmmph!" Ziva groaned. The last thing she wanted to do was go to a barbeque and have to be overly friendly to a bunch of two faced weapons dealers. "Come on baby!" Tony laughed lightheartedly. "Take your shower first, and I'll make breakfast."

Ziva reluctantly rose from the bed and went into the bathroom. She took a very quick shower, dried, and straitened her hair. She put on the red sundress she had picked the day before, and smiled. Twenty-four hours ago being with Tony was nothing but a dream of hers, now it was reality. After she was finally ready she followed the smell of bacon and eggs into the two story's downstairs kitchen, and snuck up and hugged Tony from behind. "Smells good sweetheart." She purred. "Well I have always been an excellent cook" he smiled back.

"I'm starting to like this place," Ziva said, "I hope I have a house like this one day." "Maybe," answered Tony, "We will." He pulled her into a kiss as her mind reeled. "I know it's early to be talking about houses but honestly, there is no one in the world I would rather settle down with." "Well let's hit the road _Mrs. Johanson!" _he said while finishing the rest of his milk. Ziva followed him out the door and they were off to what would be a tiring afternoon.

….

Ziva and Tony were back in the office. The barbeque had ended with a bang… literally. Luckily though they had managed to evacuated the premises and arrest the bastard that had smuggled the bomb there in the first place.

After finishing their files, Tony had promised to take Ziva to dinner, and personally Ziva couldn't wait. Fears that they might have to postpone this date when a very determined Gibbs marched into the bullpen.

"Tony!" Gibbs barked. Tony's head snapped up just in time to see Gibb's nod for him to follow him. Tony rose quickly and flashed Ziva a concerned look. Ziva's heart froze. It was obvious Gibb's was on to them, and whatever he said to Tony could end everything right here and now. Ziva found it hard to breathe until Tony walked back into the bullpen. "Let go Ziv." He said. Ziva followed, and asked no questions that could wait until they reached the car. Tony looked completely at ease, happy even. As they reached the car she couldn't contain it anymore and just blurted out. "So what was it about? I'm dying here."

"He knows." smiled Tony. "What did he say?!" She inquired further. Tony couldn't stop smiling at this point, "All he told me… was not to screw it up." Ziva was shocked. Maybe the famous gut was on their side, after all Gibbs knew better than anyone, what was good and what wasn't.

_Sorry this took so long! I had to wait until after the finale to get my feels under control I guess! _


	6. Chapter 6

Ziva woke up alone in her apartment, and smiled as she remembered the night before. Tony had been the perfect date. He bought her dinner, danced with her, drove her home, and then insisted that they end the night only with a kiss. He claimed that he would prove that chivalry was not completely dead. Ziva did manage however to keep his jacket. She had borrowed it to keep warm and simply forgot to return it. Now, not only did it smell as amazing as he did, but it also served as an excuse to see him today.

Because it was Saturday, and they didn't have weekend duty she was free to spend the entire day with her favorite Italian special agent, free of dead bodies and annoying arms dealers. Just as she picked up the phone to invite him over, there was a knock at the door. She smiled and ran lightly to the door; it seemed he had beaten her to the punch. "Good morning!" she said cheerfully as she swung the door to her apartment wide open, but to her displeasure the face smiling back at her was not Tony's.

"Ray," she said with a touch of disgust in her voice, "what are you doing here?" "Hello Ziva," he said as if he suddenly lost the nerve he had to even show up "My… my trial is this week and I came to try and –" "To try and see if your absence had left me lonely enough that when you came back I would simply over look the fact that you took and innocent man's life. I'm sorry Ray but that's not the case. I still hate your guts, and that won't change no matter how long you are away, so please leave." "Ziva, I –"started Ray. "She told you to leave." Came a disgruntled voice in the hallway. Ray suddenly looked utterly terrified. "Oh… Tony… Hi. Well um I guess that's all I had to say, and since the effort seems lost, goodbye Ziva." muttered Ray as he shuffled out of the doorway and hopefully out of Ziva's life forever.

"Impeccable timing sweetheart! I was just about to shoot him." "Sounds like I came to soon then! Listen Ziva, if you want to you know wait a while before we get serious –" "No trust me," she said pausing to kiss him, "Ray is nothing but a ghost from my past that I am very happy to see disappear." "So, what do you want to do today?" she asked. "Anything, but investigate crimes," he answered, "How about we go to for breakfast, and then decide from there?" "Sounds great," she said, "I'll grab my coat, and yours."

They arrived at the diner and were ordering when Tony's eyes stretched wide. "It's Abby!" he whispered briskly, "and I think what looks like her brother." "Hey guys!" said Abby in a very surprised tone. "I didn't know you guys spent the weekend together… ever." "Yeah," Tony chuckled half heartedly "We do this all the time! Keeps the partnership sharp!" Abby saw right through this, and slowly the realization of what was going on spread across her face and she smiled wider than Ziva had ever seen. "I knew it!" she exclaimed punching Tony in the arm! "This is awesome you guys! Oh, guys this is Luca, my brother."

They shook Luca's hand Tony still looking a bit hurt by Abby's punches. They spent the rest of the morning laughing and talking with Abby and Luca. Ziva had no idea Abby had thought about her and Tony's relationship before. By the looks of it she had pictured them together long before it had crossed either of their minds. Ziva didn't see any problem with Abby knowing, Gibbs had already given them his blessing, so her best girlfriend knowing couldn't do any harm. After that Tony and Ziva spent the day driving through the city talking about everything under the sun. They went out to dinner, and finished the perfect day off with a movie that Tony claimed to be a "must see". Ziva fell asleep in his arms and the last thought she had was that if this was what she could expect every Saturday being with Tony, she would make this last a very long time, maybe even forever.


	7. The Final chapter

_Six months, but they had made it work. It was harder than they had imagined staying professional at work, but they had managed, and each day they grew even closer. They had become even better partners, so in sync nothing or no one could slip past them._

Ziva stared up at the ceiling, thinking these thoughts. It was the morning of their six month anniversary, and when she had woken up in Tony's apartment she had expected him to be there, but all she found instead of his warm embrace was a note.

_Gibb's called had to run some errands love youJ_

And Ziva wasn't sure what to think. She wasn't the clingy girlfriend type, and if Gibbs had called it had to be important but still I guess she had just been really looking forward to this morning. She climbed out of bed and took a shower.

After she was done she called Tony but there was no answer… She didn't think much of it his phone was probably on silent. She decided to call Abby and see if she wanted to meet for breakfast.

"Uh… I'd love to but I'm…. bowling! Yeah sister Rosita sprained a wrist and I had to take her place in the tournament" she said nervously. Ziva could tell she was lying through her teeth, and that wasn't like her, especially since her No. 1 rule was don't lie to Abby. Not wanting to pry she changed the topic. Oh... well then, have you heard from Tony today?" she asked "No!" Abby said really quickly. "Why have you?"" No," said Ziva, "he wasn't here when I woke up note said he was with Gibbs." Then he is with Gibbs! Sheesh don't interrogate me!" claimed Abby. "Okay okay I will call you later!" said Ziva as she hung up.

Someone is testy she thought. Ziva went to the kitchen to make breakfast but on the counter was an omelet with bacon and milk along with a dozen roses and a note that said…

_Happy anniversary baby sorry I can't be here eat a good breakfast and relax we have dinner reservations a seven 3._

Ziva smiled. She wasn't that mad to begin with but this made her more than happy with Tony. She ate her omelet and watched the movie they had seen the day before. Hopefully she wouldn't fall asleep this time.

She spent the rest of the day lounging around and finally got ready, putting on the smoking hot sequin dress she had bought just for this event. Just as she went to the door to leave a fear struck her, a fear from a memory of a time when she had been waiting in a restaurant alone. For hours.

_No Tony would never do that. Even though he has been gone all day he will show. He is no Ray._

She drove to the restaurant _A 'more _it was Italian, and very fancy. Ziva gave the valet her keys, and went to the table, as she rounded the corner she was shocked to see not just Tony, but everyone. At the table sat Gibbs, Abby, McGee, Ducky, and Palmer. Tony smiled huge and got up to meet her.

"Happy Anniversary sweet cheeks," He exclaimed, "Come and join us he said pointing to the chair next to his."Tony," she said, "You didn't tell me EVERYONE would be here."

"It was a surprise darling!" he exclaimed. They ate their dinner and had an awesome time. Ziva was surprised that everyone was here and they usually only come together for special occasions like Christmas. It was a little weird that they would be here for such a private thing but she almost didn't care, it was great having them all there.

At the end of the meal, they ordered desert, but before it came Tony proposed a toast.

"I want you all to witness that I... this crazy Italian was able to snag this beautiful creature, and hold on to her for six months, and I hope," he continued getting down on one knee, " to keep her forever. Ziva we have been partners for eight years, we have each other's backs, you zig when I zag, and I have never loved someone the way I love you. If you will have me I would like to be your husband. Ziva David will you marry me?"

Ziva couldn't breathe, "Of course!" was all she could manage to say. Tony placed the ring on her finger and pulled her into a kiss. There was no doubt in her mind that letting down her guard had won her the prize of a lifetime.


End file.
